9 People I Encounter When Out Running

Posted: 27th April 2013 by mockjogger in Lists

dog lead

Line Holder

These people really get to me. I’m running fast. There’s a potential PB at stake. They should REALISE THIS AND GET THE %^&( OUT OF MY WAY. But no, they keep on walking in MY RACING LINE. So I have to swerve to go around them. I usually swear (to myself) how much damage I am going to do to them if I miss my PB.

Last Minute Line Changer

Usually walking slowly some way ahead in the same direction as me. I’m clearly going to overtake them, so I plan for this by veering either right or left to go around them. They hear me coming but they DON’T LOOK BACK and at the last minute they move to let me pass, and they move EXACTLY THE WAY I HAVE VEERED thus precipitating a collision unless I contort/jump/rupture myself by re-changing course.

Smartphone Jockey

Tapping into the phone whilst talking to him/herself and walking up the MIDDLE OF THE PAVEMENT to allow for total concentration on the phone with less risk of inadvertently walking out onto the road or into a building. There’s room for two to pass, but not when Smartphone-jockey is right in the middle. Of course he/she doesn’t see or me, he/she is too busy texting “where are you?” to a fellow Justin Beiber fan.

Small Dog Owner

For some reason big dog owners are OK. But small dog owners have their overblown hamster on a lead and the little beast is clearly bent on sniffing something on the opposite side of the pavement. So do they follow their beast over over? No, they just pull the lead tighter creating a HURDLE RIGHT ACROSS THE PAVEMENT. Am I supposed to jump that?

Fellow Crazy

While out running in a wind-assisted -3 degrees C with sleet, fellow-crazy approaches in the opposite direction, we catch each other’s eyes and shrug at the ridiculous nature of our circumstance. An all too familiar sight in Edinburgh.

Slightly Faster Than Me Dude

Overtakes me inch by inch on a training run. So of course, I accelerate to prevent him passing. A few minutes later he’s back. Inch by inch. I accelerate again, but this time he’s hanging on, and no, he’s still passing inch by inch. OK, go on then, you &($%^#.

Slightly Slower Than Me Dude

Not a common sight but there are a few. I’m gaining inch by inch. At 2m and closing I accelerate to fast pace and go zooming past like the closet club runner I’m not. 100m later I’m knackered and slow to a snails pace. Slightly Slower Than Me Dude morphs into Slightly Faster Than Me Dude.

Double Looper

I often run around a hilly park. Usually I meet Double looper the first time when I’m running downhill and she is running uphill. I look at her laboured breathing and can’t help thinking she should get out more. Then I meet her the second time on the other side of the hill when I’m on my way up and she’s on her way down, and I beg silent penance for my arrogance.


OK, I’ve only met this guy once and that was during the Edinburgh Rock’n’Roll Marathon. I passed him while trying to show my family that I had lots of energy left at the 5km-from-home mark. But I’d like to congratulate Superman for recovering strongly and finishing before me.

  1. Kathy R says:

    So, it is good to bad to know that these exact same people exist here in the US?
    Great post.

  2. mockjogger says:

    Thanks Katy! Don’t you also have Patriotic Dude, running in the stars and stripes? I think I saw him in Boston a couple of weeks ago. We don’t get many of those over here;)